Yet another rant session

OK, so last night was really random. I should not let myself out of my box. But- there were a lot of other factors involved that I didn't even realize 'til this morning- timing for one.. but One thing to sum it all up... I went overboard. I need to learn real control. I mean, I can just hold it all in and control it that way. But apparently I can't just crack open the flood gates, I need to cause a flood. And the thing is, I don't feel *that* bad about it. I guess because I finally realize I can't. If I worry too much, I'll never get on with my life, and I really want for everyone else to be able to move on with theirs. Because if anyone should have to dwell on it, it should be 'cause it was my fault, but I wasn't even really the one affected. On the other hand, at least I know I have friends that care about me, and won't abandon me even when they see my stupidness. I can't decide how it feels yet- to have that part of me so wide out in the open. But I need to go cautiously here- we all saw what happened the last time I gave up on that wonderful little thing called "moderation".




In other news, yesterday was D-Day. And I did not get horribly drunk like the other thousands of ppl on campus. And the Juliana Theory concert was really good- I didn't realize I missed rocking out so much- Hey lizza, I saw number one fan. I think I agree with you about them.. Anyway, that was fun. SO was playing the TMNT arcade game. I have a room for next year! woohoo! so that will be fun too. And I woke up this morning and wrote 6 pages of my 8-10 page paper draft that's due tomorrow. So I guess, barring last night, it was an anwesome weekend. Line dancing friday, Jay's and D-Day yesterday, productivity today.. it's all good.

To all the peeps already on summer vacation, live it up! I can't decide how I feel. Two more weeks and I"ll be back home seeing all the friends I've missed... and missing all the friends I've made here. But we'll make it work. THis is how life's gonna be from now on, ne? Constantly moving, no more staying in one place for 15 years in a row... Guess I need practice. It's exciting, don't get me wrong. I guess.. I'm all confuzzeled, but it'll straighten itself out or settle to the bottom eventually. It's all in what you make of it.



Ok, and random funny quote of people talking about me over my head: "I don't want to damage her." Yes, well, I love you people but I can take it, yo. ^_^

80's~Inspiration~Awesome

The wind blows hard against this mountain side,
across the sea into my soul
It reaches into where I cannot hide,
setting my feet upon the road

My heart is old, it holds my memories,
my body burns a gemlike flame
Somewhere between the soul and soft machine,
is where I find myself again

Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light

When I was young I thought of growing old,
of what my life would mean to me
Would I have followed down my chosen road,
or only wished what I could be

Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light